


OQAngstFest 2018

by outlawqueenbey



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-25 07:43:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15636282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outlawqueenbey/pseuds/outlawqueenbey
Summary: A collection of my fics for OQ Angst Fest





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

A Broken Phone Call

 

Disclaimer for death? Disclaimer, it’s actual Marian cause Fuck Zelena.

It’s also all @ariestess69 fault.

  
  
  


Regina knows she is dying. She has been for months now. An incurable ailment that slowly has spread through her heart, hidden from sight and bleeding the life out of her drip by drip. No one knows, she can’t tell them; it wouldn’t matter anyway, it is what it is, and she will spare them from the truth. It’s better this way. 

 

She has hidden it for a while now, the pain that grips her body, passing it off as a simple flu she can’t seem to shake. But they notice more and more the frailness of her bones that protrude, the greyness of her skin, the dark circles of exhaustion beneath her eyes. They ask, she dismisses it. They grow wary of her diminished appetite, she claims she’s never been a big eater. They question why her palm absently rubs over her chest as though she’s in discomfort, she claims heartburn, if they only knew the irony behind her answer. 

 

It’s slowly killing her from the inside out, a malady she cannot cure. It was the right decision letting him go, she just hadn’t anticipated such a consequence of relinquishing her grasp on his hand as he crossed the town line. It started quietly. An ache that flickered and flamed as the days passed on, one that has grown into a full on fire within. It burns her, has torn a crevasse in her heart that is unpatchable, it simply bleeds and bleeds though there is no blood that shows to the naked eye. 

 

The once great and terrible Evil Queen has been bested by a broken heart. 

 

It humours her in truth, thinking back on the number of hearts she had crushed herself, ones she’d squeezed and turned to ash within seconds. Turnabout is fair play after all, she supposes. 

 

Her days have come to an end, she is well aware that this is the last time she’ll sit on the cream couch in her living room, listening to her son babble on with his birth mother about things that happened at school today. He’ll be alright, at least she hopes. They will all take care of him. Silently she prays that he won’t be angry with her for not being honest. He is a smart boy, his inquisitive mind knows that something else besides a common cold is wrong with her though he doesn’t ask. She is grateful for that. For the fact that he has decided her secrets are her own, and he is accepting enough to simply spend time with her. 

 

A spiking stab sears through her, an expected flare of pain she grimaces through, curling her knees to her chest, breathing as slow and steady as she can till it simmers back down to a deep ache once more. They happen more frequently now, and she knows her heart is too weak to fight back any longer. This is it, and she doesn’t want Henry around for it. Doesn’t want anyone around in all honesty. 

 

“Mom, you okay?” He climbs onto the sofa beside her with a glass of lemon water, passing it to her with a concerned frown. “You’re sweating… and freezing all at once.” His palm graces her forehead and comes away slightly damp. She musters a smile, a muffled  _ I’m fine, just tired.  _ It’s a lie, she hates lying to him, but she made her choice to go through this on her own. He doesn’t believe her, she can see it in his hazel eyes as he asks if he can get her anything. 

 

“How about a hug?” She sags into the cushion, Henry trepidatiously sliding into her arms and laying against her chest. His weight presses down on her fragile bones, a pressure that crushes her but she will not move him, this is the last time she will feel this, be able to run her fingers through his hair and feel him nuzzle closer like he used to do as a toddler. She will not cry, even if her eyes brim with hot tears, she will not shed a single one. 

 

Henry squeezes a palm around her forearm, “You sure you’re alright?” Regina buries her nose into his hair, a hushed, “I’m okay,” puffing strainedly out as she rocks him slowly. “You promise?” he whispers back. It breaks her heart, hearing his worry, not knowing the truth but being concerned nonetheless. 

 

“I love you, Henry.”  

 

“Love you too, Mom.” He sighs into her, letting his mother soothe his apprehensions away. He misses this, having these quiet moments just between them. It hasn’t been easy for her since Robin left, for either of them in all honesty. He misses him too. Misses having a father figure in his world, a man who finally made his mother happy, that feeling of having a full family. If he could bring Robin and Roland back he would, but he understands why they had to leave, why his mother let them go. It doesn’t make the longing fade, not in the slightest, and he’s tried to be there for her as best as he can. But she’s been sick for so long now, and fear grips him tightly that something is going to happen. 

 

Emma walks into the living room, gives the pair a small smile before settling down on the arm chair. When she first came to Storybrooke she had been hellbent on taking Henry away from Regina, thought the woman was an utter monster who couldn’t possibly feel anything close to love. How wrong she had been. Sure, Henry is hers as well, but Regina is his mother, she knows that down to her core. She is grateful for the woman that took care of her child when she couldn’t, loved him endlessly, protected him at all costs, and gave him whatever she could. Emma knows Regina truly cherishes him. But she too has noticed the weakness that has etched into the other woman’s eyes, a silent pain she tries to keep hidden from the world. Something is wrong, ever since Robin left, something is very very wrong with Regina. 

 

She wants to ask but knows that Regina has grown tired of the prying questions. It doesn’t make her worry any less, but if Regina wants to talk about it, she will; Emma knows that, and she clearly doesn’t want to divulge whatever it is that plagues her to the point of looking like walking death these days. 

 

Regina tenses beneath Henry’s body, her brow cinched tight as she breathes heavily through her nose. She’s in pain. Emma can see it clear as day. An agony that ripples through her for long, drawn out seconds before she finally slumps back in relief. Their eyes meet, wary greeting wary. Regina mouths she is fine, Emma scowls slightly with a bite down on her lip. She doesn’t look fine. 

 

“Henry, why don’t you and Emma go get some ice cream?” 

 

Emma frowns harder, she is trying to get rid of them, she’d never purposefully ask for Henry to part from her if it wasn’t serious. Henry sits up, a questioning scan of his adoptive mother’s exhausted, gaunt face. “You sure?” 

 

Regina nods, runs a palm through his hair, “I think I just need some sleep.” She swallows heavily, eyes brimming with tears as Henry nods with a glance to Emma who sits silently in the chair. “If you’re sure. I can bring you back a cone if you want?” 

 

“Rocky Road?” Regina smiles best as she can though her heart is searing, “Double scoop.” 

 

Henry smirks, “You sure you’re feeling alright, Mom?” They both know Regina never gets anything but a single, something about too much sugar being bad for you; it was always a special occasion when she’d let him get a double. 

 

“I’m good. You should go before it closes.” 

 

“If you’re positive you’re okay to be here alone.” 

 

“I am, don’t worry.” 

 

He smiles, wraps his arms gingerly around her, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek, “See you in a bit then.” Emma can see the way Regina’s hands shake as she wraps them around Henry for a brief moment, the deep inhale she takes against the crook of his neck. If she knew any better, it almost looked like a goodbye hug, but that’s crazy, Regina isn’t going anywhere. Henry stands, slinging his coat on. “One double scoop Rocky Road coming right up.” 

 

Emma too stands, cocks a brow at the way Regina’s face falls almost serenely as she watches their son tie his shoes, maybe she does just need a good solid few hours of sleep, maybe she’ll take Henry out to Granny’s, too, give Regina a bit more time alone to rest. “Let’s go, kid.” 

 

“Love you, Mom!” Henry calls out from the door. 

 

“I love you, too, Henry.” 

 

The door closes, and the first few tears slip. He’s going to be alright. He has to be. It’s a mantra she repeats steadily in her mind as the pain flares once more, but this time she can’t suppress the half choked, strained cry. Her hand slides up her chest and over her heart. It burns as her fingers pierce flesh, stings and screams out as her heart is tugged from her chest, laid bare in her hand moments later. 

 

The glow is barely there. A dimmed flicker of light pulsing erratically. She thumbs along the crevasse running through its center. It’s almost broken in two now, hanging on by a bare, thin thread of gold she knows is the tether between her and Robin. It’s frayed now, burnt at the edges, gripping onto a few last strands. It amazes her,  seeing magic like this, being able to watch the gold thread slowly disband before her eyes. It splices gradually and deliberately without care of the pain it causes her. 

 

She sets the dying organ down in her lap and reaches for her phone. They made a deal to not call one another unless it was an emergency, both knowing that she would never call but would always answer. It was for the best, to sever the tie between them, the love that had grown so quickly in favour of doing the right thing, to give Roland a chance to have his mother back, and even if Robin didn’t agree, it was a second chance to have a happily ever after with his wife. 

 

She shouldn’t call him, but her thumb presses against his contact anyway, a photo of his face blossoming onto her screen, one she’d taken what feels like a lifetime ago. He’d been sitting quietly on this exact couch, reading Roland a book, one they both laughed at,  _ The Cat and the Hat,  _ it was a bedtime favorite of theirs. He’d turned to smile at her, and she’d snapped the moment. It’s the only photo she has of them. She shouldn’t call him, but it’s the one and only thing she wants to do, hear his voice one last time. 

 

“Hello?” 

 

Everything stills at the sound of a female voice.  _ Marian. _ Regina shrinks with a silent grimace. 

 

“Regina? Are you there?” 

 

Blowing out a shaky breath, she musters up her courage to answer. “Hi, Marian.” 

 

“Is everything alright?” The worry apparent in the other woman’s tone, though surprisingly there is no trace of accusatory notion. It’s rather startling in all honesty. “Regina?” 

 

“Sorry, uh - yes, everything is fine.” 

 

The other line grows quiet, and Regina kicks herself for even trying to soothe her broken heart with a ridiculous phone call. Of course Robin has moved on, she told him too, of course Marian would answer his phone, she’s his wife. 

 

“You sound ill.” It’s not a question but a simple statement. “Or incredibly tired.” 

 

Regina hums, “I am.” 

 

“Things busy with the town?” 

 

“Not especially.” 

 

“Oh.” 

 

They grow silent once more, Regina counting the seconds between as she decides whether or not to give up entirely on hearing Robin’s voice as another gold thread breaks off from her heart. Minutes maybe, that’s all she has. Perhaps this is fate, that the last person she talks to has the chance to love the soulmate Regina lost, to give him and his son a chance at happiness. She’ll take it. 

 

“Marian, I --”

 

“Thank You Regina.” The other woman cuts her off smally. 

 

Regina’s brow furrows, “For what?” 

 

“For everything that you did for us. I can’t truly thank you properly for giving me my life back, the chance to know my son again.” 

 

Her heart aches at the thought of Roland, all dimpled smiles and unruly, chocolate curls. “You’re welcome. How is everything there?” 

 

Marian sighs, “New York isn’t what we are used to.” 

 

“Not exactly the Enchanted Forest?” Regina jests back. It feels almost calming hearing Marian chuckle on the other end, a soft snicker she coughs away quickly before agreeing that,  _ No, this place is definitely not the Enchanted Forest.  _

 

A spear of pain ricochets through Regina as another strand snaps, the stab unexpected and makes her cry out in shock. 

 

“Regina? Are you okay? Are you hurt?” 

 

She sinks against the couch, sweaty and trembling as the electric burn flitters away, releasing enough pressure on her chest so that her lungs may fill half way again. “I’m fine.” 

 

“You don’t sound fine.” 

 

Time is running out. She just needs to know they are okay, “Are they happy?” 

 

Marian falls quiet, Regina can hear her heavy, sorrowed inhale, “They try to be. But it’s not the same for any of us in all honesty.” 

 

Tears spill down her cheeks. In every dream she’s had of them, they are blissfully at peace in their new life, content and filled with joy. It’s what she’d hoped for, prayed for, wished day and night for it to be true. “Maybe it just takes time to adjust?” 

 

“Possibly, but things aren’t ---” 

 

Her words are cut off by a muffled squeal of laughter, a giggle Regina has only dreamt about hearing again. “Mama! Mama! We are back!” She hears Roland babble out, a soft thumping noise in what she can only imagine is Marian wrapping her son up in a tight hug. “Did you have a good day?” 

 

“Yup, we went and saw the horses in the park and then Papa and I climbed a really big tree!” 

 

Regina listens quietly, lets her tears trail slowly over her cheeks as a small smile tugs at her lips. He seems happy, maybe Marian is wrong, maybe they are okay. What she wouldn’t give to simply hold him one more time. The phone falls slightly in her palm as she slouches against a pillow, eyes closing as the weight of weakness and exhaustion begins to take over. If she dies listening to Roland’s happiness, that will be good enough. 

 

In the distance she hears Marian muffle that someone wants to talk to him, someone special. 

 

“Hello?” 

 

Her heart stammers at the sound of his cheery curious voice. 

 

“Mama, no one is there.” 

 

“Try again, baby.” 

 

“Uh- Hello?!” He calls out a bit louder, and Regina smiles through her tears as she brings the phone back up to her ear, swallowing back the tremble in her own voice as she finally answers him softly. 

 

“Hi, Roland.” 

 

“Regina?” he gasps back, stunned and baffled to hear her. 

 

“How are you my little knight?” She coos back gently, letting her mind wander into a painting of his face, the bright sparkle of his hazelnut eyes, two front teeth missing, a smile deepened by chubby cheeks. 

 

“Papa, it’s Regina!” He squeals instead of answering her, “You called! I didn’t know if you would! Papa said you were really busy! But you called!” 

 

“I did. I’m sorry it took me so long.” 

 

“It’s okay! Regina, Papa and I saw horses today!” 

 

“You did?” She hitches in small excitement for him, “What colors were they?” 

 

“Brown and then there was a white one with spots and another that was big and black, kinda like the one you had back in the Enchanted Forest that we went riding on!” 

 

“That’s amazing, sweetheart.” 

 

There is little point to try and stop her tears now, the memories of his little body squished against her stomach as they trotted off along hillsides, pointing out every bird, bug, and bunny in sight. It was a good day. The first one she had since landing back in the Enchanted Forest where the world finally let a peek of sunshine through. Robin had been there, on his own steed, smiling far too brightly for an annoying thief, irritating her to the enth degree that she was already falling in love with the idiot. 

 

“Regina, are you coming to see me soon?” 

 

Her daydream pops pitifully, her eyes spying the half torn apart organ barely beating in her lap. “I hope so. I miss you every day.” 

 

“Everyday?” he questions softly back.

 

She swallows heavily, “Everyday. You will always be my little knight, Roland.”

 

“I miss you too, Regina. So does Papa. We talk about you lots.” 

 

She stills at the thought. When Robin left, she had figured he’d try and let her go, to forget her. Apparently that is the furthest thing from the truth. It oddly warms her in a way she hasn’t felt in quite some time. Maybe he really did love her just as much as she did him. Behind Roland, Regina can hear Marian suggest that  _ Perhaps it’s Papa’s time to talk to Regina now _ , a comment that has Roland huffing a dismal  _ Okay,  _ before his sweet sing song sound returns to her ear, “Papa wants to talk to you now.” 

 

“I love you, Roland.” She breathes out against another stab of sharp pain. 

 

“Love you too, Regina! Call me again soon, okay?!” 

 

“Okay, baby. I will.” 

 

It burns like bile, giving him a promise she knows she is about to break. Hopefully he’ll understand, too, one day, that she really did love him, that he was one of the biggest reason she survived for so long, hopefully Robin will explain it to him when he’s old enough. 

 

The other line fumbles about for a few moments, a clattering she arches away from. She thought perhaps she’s be afraid to talk to Robin, to hear his voice and ask all the questions that burn her entire soul. The opposite happens, the seconds before she hears his voice, something calm settles over her, a strange, soothing balm. 

 

“Hi.” 

 

She smiles into her phone. “Hi.” 

 

“Hi,” he doubles, making Regina chuckle. “You just said that.”  

 

She can hear him smirk, blends his face into her mind at the sound as he babbles out an apology before growing quiet. “How are you?” 

 

“Alright, and you, M’lady?” 

 

She grins at that, he always called her that, even if it ground on her nerves in the beginning, she was his lady in truth and she loved hearing it, whispered in the early mornings, a soft greeting at night, breathed out heavily under the stars, and just simply because he felt like it. Her eyes sink closed as another thread pulls apart, but the pain isn’t there, it just pulls apart without the slightest stab of agony she’d grown so used to feeling. 

 

“I’m okay.” 

 

“Are you certain? Is something wrong?” 

 

She’s lied to everyone else, Robin will be no different. “I’m fine, honestly. I just…” her tears begin to flourish again as she sniffs hard, leaning her weary head back into the pillow, figuring honesty is the best policy, and if these are her last minutes, she wants him to know everything,  “I miss you, and I wanted to hear your voice.” 

 

He sighs on the other side of the phone, “I miss you, too, love, all the time.” 

 

She imagines he is sitting against a tree, somewhere outside where the free wind can blow through his hair, sunlight gently illuminating the blue of his eyes. He’d be at peace there, in the forest, his bow slung across his back, a hand extended out for her to settle beside him. In her silent imagination, she takes it, laces their fingers together, feeling his lips press a soft kiss to her palm as she sits with her back to his chest. 

 

“You sure you’re alright, Regina? We said we’d only call if it was an emergency.” 

 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

 

“Don’t be. I am so grateful to get to talk to you. It just made me worry when I heard Marian speaking with you earlier. I figured something had happened.” 

 

Such a worrier her thief is. Always had been when it came to her safety. Always getting in her way, risking himself instead of her. She watches as the third last thread begins to pull apart, cracking her heart open wider and wider with every passing moment. 

 

“Nothing’s wrong, I promise.” Another lie, it doesn’t matter. “How’s New York? Are you all settling in okay?” 

 

Robin starts recalling stories of their first few weeks there, the obstinate noise that never quiets down, how bizarre it is to have buildings taller than trees, the initial struggles of finding Roland a proper school, he and Marian jobs. She works at a bakery a couple blocks down, had become a connoisseur of beignetss and cobblers. He found a placement at a place called MEC, a perfect match given all they sell is outdoor equipment. 

 

She glances up at the clock. It’s odd, to figure that she will be gone from this world in four or five minutes. At least she gets to spend those moments listening to Robin. 

 

“Roland has his first crush. An adorable little blonde, freckled girl in his class. I cannot tell you how many times we’ve had to stop on the way to school to pick daisies for her.” 

 

“That’s incredibly sweet.” 

 

“He’s always trying to impress her.” Robin chuckles, “Reminds me a lot of myself falling in love with you.” 

 

The painting of them in her mind saturates brighter in color. 

 

She hears him sigh, “I spend a lot of time here thinking about you, about our time together. I miss you more than you could ever imagine.” 

 

He sounds dejected, and she wants to avoid the feeling of sorrow right now. “It’s not your fault, Robin. I knew what I was giving up when we decided you needed to leave.” It’s the truth, or at least most of it. She hadn’t realized her heart would literally be bleeding out and breaking apart because of it, but still, she completely understood that she was losing another love, possibly the greatest love of her life. 

 

“I never meant to hurt you, Regina.” His voice thickens, and her heart aches for his anguish. 

 

“You didn’t,” she lies again, there isn’t much point in telling him how much it tore her apart to let him go. “It was the right thing to do. We both know that.” 

 

“I know.”

 

He wants to say something, she can feel it, the way he breathes a little more unsteadily on the other side of the phone. She imagines he’s probably biting down on his lip, chewing it with a shy frown, his dimples deep, bright blue eyes anxiously curious, almost like that moment before the first time he kissed her, or she kissed him, she supposes, at his camp. It’s like yesterday, the feeling of her heart pounding furiously in her chest as she pulled him towards her, melding their lips together for the first time, that feeling of his stubble brushing her skin. It was that exact look when they parted, the fraction of a second he look almost stunned and yet desperate for more. 

 

It was a good first kiss. 

 

“Are you happy, Robin?” 

 

“Define happy.” 

 

She rolls her eyes with a smirk, “You know what I meant.” 

 

A beat passes as she waits for him to talk, her mind wandering back to them sitting in her imagination, leaning into an oak tree, perhaps overlooking a lake somewhere, his hands warm and solid wrapped around her, the beat of his heart steadily pulsing against her back. It feels calm in this place, serene and easy to breathe. 

 

“What I know is that the day I crossed the town line, I thought I knew what was right, what I wanted, and it turns out I was incredibly foolish and wrong.” 

 

“I don’t understand, you had to leave for Marian’s sake. She would have died, Robin.” 

 

“I know.” He bumbles out, “And don’t get me wrong, I am grateful to have her back in my life, but it feels like I gained something and lost even more in the process, as crass as that may sound.” 

 

A sweep of heaviness courses through her as the second last thread gently spirals loose, leaving a single string holding her life in tact. This is it. 

 

She swallows thickly against the friction in her throat, drawing in barely there breaths as she sinks weakly beneath the thin, cotton blanket, “I want you to be happy, to find that again with your family. Can you do that for me?” 

 

“Regina, tell me what’s wrong, I know something is going on. Please, don’t lie to me.” He trembles on the other end, a sudden panic in his voice, she simply sighs at with a tired smile, picking up her heart, the light nearly faded. The last thread begins to unravel, she can feel her life leaving her body. “Regina, I need to ask you something.” 

 

She can barely hear him, doesn’t really register his question. “You know, I think my heart knew I loved you before I did.” She smiles softly, picturing him holding her tight. “I was too scared to admit it to myself that maybe there was another chance for me. I’m sorry it took me so long to find you, Robin.” In her mind, he kisses her, kisses away her tears that fall slowly, kisses away the fear of dying, he just kisses it all away. 

 

“Regina, stop.” He cuts off her confession. “You need to tell me what’s wrong, why do you suddenly sound so weak? Please tell me.” It’s near begging by the end, his voice strained in desperation. She knows the feeling, not being able to be there for the other person, to hold them, to fix what ails, to soothe bruises and staunch the bleeding. 

 

“It doesn’t matter, I just want you to know that I love you, I always have.” 

 

“Regina, I need you to listen to me for a moment.” 

 

The last thread breaks.  

 

“I love you too. I’m coming back. I’m going to find a way to come back to you, to bring Roland and I home. I promise.”

 

He is only met with silence on the other end of the phone. 

 

“Regina?” 

 

Fin…..

  
  
  
  


 


	2. Dear God, Have I Been Bad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the Merry Men being back in the Enchanted Forest - Day 2 
> 
> Give me a chance (#1)
> 
> Please don’t leave (#5)
> 
> I Don’t want to lose you too (#24)
> 
> It’s not your fault (#42)
> 
> I’m not going anywhere (#44)

 

 

They’ve been back for a few months now and it’s utterly awful. Everything reminds them of Robin. The forest where camp houses them, a time where laughter used to flourish around a warm crackling fire is now void of any merriment. They try reorganizing life to how it used to be, and some days it feels almost normal, aside from the fact that their leader is no longer there, nor is his regal lady love, smirking behind a mug of ale after he’d kiss her. Every night there is a vacant spot around the fire where they used to sit, and it grows with their sorrow.

 

But the Merry Men are resilient, and they know what loss feels like and have come to accept that sometimes life is not fair. They talk, let silent tears flow, toast to great friends who will be missed, and they heal as time goes on. All of them except the smallest merry man. The young boy who doesn’t understand much more than the two people he loved most in the world are no longer here to tuck him in at night. His laughter has faded, the sparkling happiness in his eyes drowned away in silence. He sits amongst them, feet barely touching the grass underfoot, gaze dipped low, hidden by a thick cloak.

 

Children are something none of them have, Roland is the only one. They try desperately to get him to smile again, to hear the bubbling giggles that used to be a part of daily life, to explain that his father died a hero, that it’s alright to miss him, to miss both he and Regina. He listens, nods, and wipes a snotty nose in his sleeve, but their words don’t seem to bring him much comfort or solace. It’s a pain no six year old should have to live with.

 

Will takes him hunting, Tuck to the lake, Alan spills story after story, and he himself tucks the little lad in at night. Those are the hardest. Feeling Roland’s tiny whimpers rumbled against his large chest, dampening his beard and bleeding his heart dry. Robin was a good man, a fantastic leader and his best friend. They’d been mates for decades, and the loss settles in John’s stomach like a boulder.

 

He misses the way they’d laugh together after a mission had gone slightly awry. He misses poking fun at the way Robin’s eyes used to follow the Queen back in the Missing Year, the curious longing that sparked something long forgotten in his eyes. He wishes he had one more night to hear his friend speak of the woman who has stolen his heart, weaved her way into his very soul. He yearns to see her blush again when Robin would whisper he loved her quietly, the ache palpable when he thinks back on how close he and the Queen had gotten. A strange friendship that formed. They barbed playfully back and forth, jesting sharp quips that he thoroughly enjoyed ruffling her feathers with.

 

He misses them both dearly, can feel the way his gait slows as he approaches Roland’s tent for another night, and before his hand can move the flap back, he spies the young boy on his knees, bowed and knelt before the cot, small hands folded together as a candle flickers beside him. John thought he’d heard all the pain this boy could possible muster, but this, this is something he was never prepared to hear.

 

Barely above a whisper, trembled with tears, he listens to Roland pray.

 

“If I was bad, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry if I did something to make you mad and take them away from me.” He sniffles, adjusting on his knees. “I want my papa back, I want Regina back. I promise I’ll be good, give me another chance, please.”

 

John wipes his eyes and sinks deeper into the dirt outside the tent, his heart aching.

 

“If you are listening, please can they come back? I miss my papa. I miss him all the time. And Regina too. I want to go back to see her. But Little John says this is our home now. But I liked it there with her and Papa. Why did you take them away?” His words falter at the end, a whimpered sob wracking tiny shoulders, “Please can I have them back? I promise I won’t be bad again.” He climbs onto the cot, curls his legs into his chest and clutches the grey stuffed monkey into his face and falls silent.

 

They all thought it was the best decision after Robin died, to bring Roland back to the Enchanted Forest, but now, being here, John feels it with every fiber of his body that this was the wrong choice. Roland didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye to Regina, and in truth, he realizes now that he never should have had to. He was meant to be with her, with the only mother he’s known. Guilt riddles him as he musters his courage to step into Roland’s tent.

 

The young boy doesn’t acknowledge his presence as John sits down on the cot beside him, a large, warm palm rubbing up and down his tiny back. Silence surrounds the forest as John listens to Roland’s tears, buried into grey fur, hidden from the world. He needs to make it right. A vow he promises to the high heavens and all the Gods above, this little boy won’t cry himself to sleep for another night, he swears his life on it.

 

And it takes a few weeks of searching, of begging every magician he comes across until he finds her, astoundingly and perplexingly. But it’s not her, not really. After a long confusing explanation he comes to realize that they are split, two halves of one whole, and that’s not all. The other version of his friend is also here, with her. It’s odd their first meeting, seeing a replica shaking his hand though he has no memory of a life John had shared with the _other_ Robin.

 

He takes them to meet Roland, fears that this may not be the best thing to explain but it feels right, seeing the way the Queen kneels before him in the clearing, runs a hand through his hair and over the apple of his cheek as he stares wide eyed at her, at the man behind her. It takes time, a lot of tears and unsettling questions before Roland understands enough to know that the man before him may look like his father, but it’s not him. The Queen does her best, becomes a mediator between man and child, and Roland is never far from her side. He asks if she can bring his papa back, see’s the slump in her shoulders grow as she shakes her head dejectedly.

 

Nothing can bring back the dead.

 

Roland cries hard that night and the Queen is there to rock him gently to sleep. She too understands the pain of losing a loved one. That night she tells Roland it wasn’t his fault, that he did nothing wrong, he was never bad, that his father simply loved Regina too much in her opinion and gave the ultimate sacrifice for her.

 

It’s unsteady for a few weeks after that. Everytime she and her love need to leave in search for items, Roland melts down, begging her “Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to lose you too.” Notions spilled through tears that break John’s spirit. The fear is palpable that she may never come back to the boy, not out of choice but from circumstance. He knows she is being hunted, that staying in one place with them is putting her life in danger, and every night as she kisses Roland’s forehead and promises she will come back, his worry rises.

 

She does return though, holds her promise true to the young boy and comes back every time.

 

Together they make their plan, find what they need, and it’s John who damn near runs to Roland one night with a smile wider than the sun, scooping the little boy up with a laugh he hasn’t felt rumble inside him for a long time as he tells him that he has a surprise to show him.

 

He can feel the nervousness radiating off Roland as they walk up to the portal, the Queen and her thief already gone through the other side, they decided it was best that they go first and wait on the other side with _her._ His own heart pounds as the magic vortex swirls around them, his arms fastening tight around Roland’s body, and then he hears the little boy gasp.

 

She is there, tears filled in her eyes as she kneels on the pavement. Roland squirms from his grasp, drops to the ground and, faster than his legs can almost carry him, he flies into her arms, burying himself as tight as he can as she cries and holds him steady. A warmth floods his body as Regina stands with Roland cuddled into her chest, he is smiling, through wet, dampened eyes; he can see it, a real, true smile.

 

“Regina?” Roland sniffles, raising his eyes to hers as she smiles with a hum. “Don’t leave me again, okay?”

 

It spears her, John can see it plain as day, the guilt that flickers through her eyes, but she does what she has always done for Roland - gives him solace and safety as she bumps the tip of her nose against his, a quiet whispered, “I am not going anywhere, ever again,” muffled between the two of them.

 

“You promise?”

 

A single tear slides down her cheek as she hugs him tight, “I promise.”

 

It’s a relief John never thought he’d get to experience again, seeing the pure joy in that little boy’s eyes. Roland is where he is meant to be, with his mother.

 

Fin.

 


	3. Regina's Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 3

#2 - Leave me alone

#50 - I said I love you, and I meant it 

#11 - You promised you wouldn’t

#44 - I’m not going anywhere

 

The headaches started four months ago, a pounding in her skull, right behind her eyes, a constant repeating thump she’d been desperate to not think too much about. It couldn’t be anything serious, nothing life changing so what was the point of dwelling? 

 

But the days at the office became worse, reading near impossible, and she is absolutely not going to follow Dr. Whale’s advice. Idiotic twit who isn’t even a real doctor. What he told her isn’t true. It’s simply not. 

 

Until it very much so is and she is walking home with a burning secret in her purse. A prescription. One that is very much going to affect her. She is the mayor, the goddamn Queen. And the thought of someone finding out is absolutely terrifying to her. She’ll take it to her grave. 

 

So she does. For eight weeks she hides it from everyone, including her own family. At the office it’s fine, she can lock her door and be in peace. It’s everywhere else that is the issue. At the diner, at home, curled up beside Robin watching TV, the worst is before bed as she attempts to flip another page in her book. 

 

The headaches begin to creep back within minutes. 

 

The issue isn’t that she thinks it’s not a viable issue, it clearly is, the issue that sticks and pokes her relentlessly is what people will think, what Robin will think. How will he react? If it changes how he feels in some way towards her. 

 

Things have changed already, kind of. No longer does she snuggle up to his side at night as he flicks through another chapter, his fingers combing through her hair, a soft dull scratch that lulls her into a sleepy stupor. The constant thumping in her head distracts her from doing anything but turning away and flicking off her bedside lamp. 

 

And he’s starting to notice. She knows he is. The slight frown in his brow as he asks if she is alright for the hundredth time, a question she huffs at through hidden tears. In the days his eyes watch her more carefully, more curiously as though he knows she is hiding something from him. Something big. 

 

He has tried to take her out on a few dates, but the second the waiter comes by to drop menus on their plate, nausea floods in. She tells him to order for her most times, excusing herself to the bathroom to gather her skittering nerves. Keeping this secret from him is awful but what else can she do? 

 

She feels absolutely horrid when he smiles so sweetly at her, links their fingers together and presses a gentle kiss to her palm as they walk home. But tonight she isn’t in the mood, her headache is pulsing and all she wants to do is get home, down a bottle of wine and two aspirin and go to sleep. 

 

Robin, however, seems to have other ideas. He waits on their bed, shirtless, in his sleep pants, patiently watching as she changes into a black slip, clearly avoiding his gaze, clearly avoiding  _ him _ as she reaches for a second pump of lotion to slather on her already smooth, creamed thigh. 

 

“Regina, can we talk?” 

 

Her heart thumps, “About what?” 

 

She hears him sigh, “Something is obviously bothering you and as your husband, I had hoped you’d come to me, to let me help you.” He’s pained, she can hear it in the vibrations of his voice. 

 

“I’m fine Robin.” Her hands shake as she rolls the lotion into her arms, doing her damndest not to show the fear that is beginning to creep up her spine as she hears him move from the bed, measured steps quietly padding towards her. He kneels between her legs, tugs her hands away from her arms and holds them tight within his own. 

 

He smiles, small with trepidation, “Love, whatever it is, you can tell me.” 

 

Her throat swells thickly, a burning bile soaking her jaw as she turns away from him. “It’s nothing.” 

 

“Regina, you promised you wouldn’t lie to me. We promised never to hold secrets, it’s in our vows.” 

 

“I know what our vows said,” she scoffs, probably a bit too harshly, for Robin sighs heavily, shaking his head in dejection but he doesn’t move, doesn’t relinquish his grip on her hands, just thumbs the diamond on her left finger. Tears flush her eyes at the sound of him asking if she is sick, if an illness is the reason she is so afraid of him, of talking to him. Whatever it is, he promises they will get through it. And it’s the way he says it, so strong, so secure and steady, it has the tears falling, dripping down onto her cheeks. 

 

“Love, it’s okay.” His thumb swipes along the apple of her cheek, wiping away the tears, “I’m not going anywhere. Please just tell me.” 

 

She sniffs hard, leaning into the warmth of his palm. It’s not going to change anything. It can’t. He loves her and she loves him. This  _ thing _ , it’s not going to ruin that. “I’m not sick, it’s nothing like that,” she relents, her heart swelling at his breath of relief floods her as he kisses her hands. 

 

It’s now or never. 

 

Standing, she tugs him back to their bed, asks him to wait as she fetches something in her bag. Anxiety ripples through her as she walks slowly back towards him, her hands holding her secret behind her back, the plastic container burning through her skin as she sinks beside him. He waits, arches a brow as she places a small, oblong shaped box between them. 

 

He can see her nerves, the way she anxiously bites down on her lip and avoids the box as though it’s the bloody plague. He thumbs it, turns it over in his palm puzzled. “What is it?” 

 

She scowls at the box, “Just open it.” Instead however, he lands a palm on her thigh, squeezing softly for a moment, “Whatever is inside Regina, we will get through it, okay?” Her nod is shrugged off as she turns her gaze towards the open window, almost insinuating she is plotting her escape. If he wasn’t so perplexed by the box, he’d almost have to forget the entire thing and kiss the frown from her lips. 

But he is curious. 

 

He pops the box open, and Regina stiffens. 

 

Robin pulls her secret from the container, turns it over a few times in his hands, straightens out the arms and holds them up for closer inspection. 

 

“Glasses?”

 

She shrinks, her face falling into her palms, groaning dismally. 

 

Fucking glasses. She can barely see without them anymore. Far away is fine. But words, tiny fucking little fine print words on a page or her computer screen are her utter demise.They aren’t sexy. She doesn’t feel sexy wearing them, she feels ridiculous, and most of all, she feels old. And Regina Mills is not old.

 

“You have to wear glasses now?” 

 

She nods passively, peeking through her hand shield to find Robin grinning stupidly at her. 

 

“What?” The sharpness in her voice has his eyes flicking back to hers, “Why are you smiling like that?” 

 

He laughs, breathlessly and warm, moving his palm on her thigh and around her waist, tugging her into his chest. “It’s not funny, Robin.” She glowers against his skin, mentally wishing the frames would burst into flames. It does nothing but spur on his chuckling, a snorted giggle he has to stifle into her hair. She swats at his chest, arching up and away from him and scrambles to snatch the glasses from his extended hand. He’s quicker though, holding them from her reach. 

 

“Give them back.” She growls, “Robin, I mean it. Hand them over.” 

 

She is adorable in her petulance, and he’s never been more in love with her than in this moment. Scowling fire, hot temper and all. Using all the self control he has to not burst out into another happy fit, he draws a single finger up, presses it to her lips, shushing her demands instantly. Her eyes follow him darkly as he moves the frames to her face, tucks a fallen hair behind her ears and slides the glasses up her nose, dotting the tip for emphasis as he grins. 

 

“They suit you.” 

 

Regina deadpans him, rolling her eyes. 

 

“Truly, I also think you look rather sexy in them,” he confesses, relishing in the hint of a smirk on her lips. 

 

Bingo. He swoops down, crashing his lips to hers, the frames sliding a fraction sideways as she gasps against his mouth. She falls back, pulling Robin with her, their lips popping wetly as he draws away, fixing her glasses level with a dimpled smile. 

 

“They aren’t sexy.” She pouts, beautifully Robin might add. “I beg to differ M’lady. I find myself quite attracted to you in them.” He wiggles his hips against hers, leaning down to plant a row of wet kisses to her throat.

 

“Leave me alone you idiot.” She grins, bites down on her smile and moves to slide them off. His fingers grip around her wrists, pinning them effectively to the mattress. 

 

His dots a kiss to her cheek, one to her jaw, to her brow, feather light, the last to the tip of her nose. “When we got married, I said I love you, and I meant it.” His lips peck her own, “I love all of you, every last piece and accessory.” 

 

He’s ridiculous. There is no chance in hell he can actually think that she is remotely pretty in these dastardly things, but as his palms slide up her sides, her slip following, bunching below her breasts before he lifts it up and off her till it falls gracefully to the floor, she finds that maybe she doesn’t really care. And if he begs her in  _ that _ voice to keep them on while he is notched deep inside her, she can’t find a reason to refuse him, apparently she isn’t the only one with secrets. 

 

Who knew glasses were a kink for him? 


End file.
